The Harsh Reality of Being Transgender

The Harsh Reality of Being Transgender

I want to point out some really important issues within the trans community and I want to talk about the harsh reality of being transgender.

I feel that the media has of late started to view transgender people as having some type of glamorous lifestyle, basically once you have transitioned into this man or woman you were meant to be then life is glamorous, supposedly it’s so happy once you get past the transition stage point and there is no problem, but unfortunately that is not always the case, some trans people have to suffer a lot more than others.

I wanted to discuss the real issues of being transgender including the struggle we have to go through every day, it takes a lot of bravery to be transgender, and to go through your transition – so let’s jump into some of the key topics and issues of transgender identity.

Gender Identity:
I can’t really make anyone understand what it’s like to wake up in the wrong body as for someone who is not transgender you will never understand. So I can only explain it to some extent, for you to sympathize with us, but waking up to a body that does not match your mind is extremely difficult.

There is not even a word to begin to describe the depression and the self-doubt a trans person has to go through every day when they wake up and they realize they are not in the right body.

Along with people accepting your gender identity you know there is a high suicide rate, many trans people are too scared to undergo a transition so they commit suicide and the percentage of suicides and teen trans is unacceptable it’s way too high. I feel we need to bring awareness to the community so society starts being more accepting of regular trans people then many will not be afraid to come out and the suicide rate will then start to drop.

Society Acceptance:Transgender Reality
Being able to pass as a man or woman is one of the most important concerns of most transgender people and it influences all aspects of their lives, at times, society’s standpoint can appear so depressing and it’s just so discouraging with someone’s going through transition. Many trans people feel like they can’t pass or be viewed as the gender they’re supposed to be because of outside society.

I suggest that you try not to let negative influences determine your transition, it really breaks my heart when a trans person comes to me for advice and says I don’t look like my authentic gender because of what someone said because of how society views me. Everyone transitions differently so try and be happy and enjoy the road, do not let a negative ugly hearted person bring you down.

Healthcare Provision for Transition:
Healthcare is another major issue, having the right health insurance for you to undergo your transition is problematic and it’s difficult to obtain, at least, in the United States. You have to go to a specific hormone doctor, called an endocrinologist, not all endocrinologists have experience with transgender people.

An Endocrinologist can technically provide you with the hormones but they don’t necessarily know what to prescribe for a trans person to transition smoothly, giving the right hormone regime, for your body to adapt naturally. If you’re not one of those lucky trans people who live in a metropolitan area, then finding a doctor with specific knowledge of transgender issues can be very difficult.

It’s a struggle and there needs to be more awareness of the community, especially more awareness of the problems we face to get health care coverage, it is easier for us to obtain the certain coverage so we can smoothly undergo our transition. I do feel if we can get more LGBT clinics or more resources for trans people detailing how to get health cover then there won’t be this issue, there won’t be this huge anxiety of trans people thinking that I can’t get coverage. How am I supposed to get coverage? when can I start my transition?
Healthcare, especially in the United States, is a very big issue and we need to change our health care coverage so trans people can transition more smoothly.

Transgender Hormones:
Hormones have made my transition a lot easier it is another step for you as a trans person to feel like your authentic self and I personally feel a lot better on hormones, they give you a much better quality of life, for me at least is 100% better.

However, you should be aware there can be a number of side effects from transgender hormones including pronounced mood swings, having said that, any side effects tend to be more of less pronounced in each of us. Hormones can produce a drastic change in our body appearance which allow you to feel much more like your authentic self.

Coming Out:
Coming out as transgender is one of the hardest experiences a trans person has to endure, it includes self-doubt, questions in your mind such as how likely you are to be accepted amongst your friends and family, not knowing how others will view you is a tough thing to deal with. It is very hard; I can’t even really describe in words how stressful it is for a trans person to come out.

Many transgender people lose friends and family through ‘coming out’, it’s so unfortunate that trans people can lose the people closest to them just because they come out as being trans, it happens every day and it is not okay. I believe that as we are all human and we are just trying to be our true selves therefore our friends and family should try and be more understanding and accepting.

Let’s face it, undergoing transgender transition is a necessity rather than a choice, being happy in one’s self has to come before others happiness. You can’t really live a lie and pretend to your family or friends that you are happy whilst continually struggling internally. It’s hard to rationalise the effect your coming out as trans will have on your close relatives and friends but in this day and age we are moving towards a more accepting society and maybe you can try and educate those around you which can lead to acceptance amongst those closest to you.

I hope you can find happiness in your transition and the strength to overcome prejudice, try to hold your head up high and let your smile tell the world how you feel inside through living an authentic life in the gender you believe you are.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this article and please watch the video below outlining what has been discussed. My hope is that we bring more awareness and acceptance towards our community.

Further Reading: Please take a look at our article about the ‘Stepping Out Secrets‘ program, this course contains in-depth tutorials and video coaching on important transgender transition topics such as style, makeup and voice feminization.

Recommended Reading: The Transgender Guidebook: Keys to a Successful Transition by Anne L Boedecker PhD (Amazon)

3 thoughts on “The Harsh Reality of Being Transgender

  1. Being a transgender person is an enormous deal for that person, but I can’t get my head around why is such a big deal for society in general. I know trans people who have been cast out by their families and so called friends just for following a course that enables them to feel and live as themselves.

    Many people are so narrow minded, short sighted and selfish. It takes some getting used to when your dad becomes your mum, or your girlfriend becomes your guy friend, but that friend or relative is still the person they were, just becoming more at one with themselves.

    I don’t know why I’m even writing this here because it’s only likely to be read by people with a direct interest in trans people or people who are trans, but society’s prejudice makes me so mad.

    Recently a friend of mine moved by a trans friend and made the mistake of saying “Excuse me young lady”. He realised his mistake and apologised profusely. I smiled and said “You’re going to get that at times, people forget, but he still loves you.” My trans friend smiled and we felt sorry for our friends embarassment. That is a good friend to have because he is concerned for people’s feelings when so many aren’t.

    I guess all I am trying to say is what’s the big deal for most people? The enormous deal is for the person going through the process of transitioning with all the trauma of hormone treatments and surgery in most cases. For the rest of us is a matter of continuing the relationship we’ve had over time with that person and supporting them through good times and bad.

  2. It is true what they say about being transgender when you come’s basically like you’re starting your life all over again. How is I can say is take baby steps don’t do it all at once. I have had an emotional roller coaster ride since my coming out five years ago. There are some consequences unfortunately for me I lost my house call my belongings basically I lost the wife. Just because I came out. Does this seem fair? There’s the other one too my ex wife knew about me in the beginning of us dating she used against me in court I have a son and I have had to fight tooth and nail two basically have time to spend with my son. See the court system the judges, lawyers are all supposed to be neutral but they’re not I have been shamed because of the way I am although I came out to family friends and to my coworkers and I’ve got some great friends due to this. I have lost quite a bit of time with my son because the me fighting in court . What I’m trying to say is dad don’t be afraid to be you for who you are what are you were transgender male female beat yourself don’t let anybody take that from you take it from me I have learned from experience and hopefully one day I’ll be able to transition.

  3. I guess I would have to say I have been medically fortunate as I have been able to find a general practitioner who is experienced in helping the trans members of the local community meet their individual transition goals without having to be under the care of an endocrinologist who will likely have little to no experience with this aspect of care. For reference especially to those in Tucson Arizona and general Pima County region her Name is Dr. Beth Tranen and she operates within the El Rio community health network.

    I am grateful that I can see the same dr. For HRT and general health concerns (while on des insurance). As far as coming out I have had my best results not making a huge announcement about where I finally am going with transition but rather to share as opportunity arises with relatives and friends.

    I know that over the course of my transition and coming out a lot of people are going to disappear from my life and a few already have so I find it helpful to let it happen one conversation at a time and remind myself that coming out is a culling process that allows me to weed out those in my life who will just be toxic to hold onto. That doesn’t make it not hurt when a family member or friend decides after years that you are no longer worthy of their time support or affection it just helps me keep perspective and prevents getting too overwhelmed with a massive amount of sudden and sadly likely rejection I hope that this will help others who find this article and I am grateful that it has been here to find and read

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