10 Tips to Feel Like A Girl Prior To Transgender Transition
The early days of transgender transition can be a frustrating time for many of us, what seems like an endless wait to get confirmation from various medical bodies to start living our lives in the correct gender. I know for me that when I had my initial referral from the local hospital to the gender identity clinic that I was relieved the process of psychological assessment leading to gender confirmation surgery was at last underway, it would therefore only be a matter of time.
I can remember back to the day that I visited the gender identity clinic in London and was told that I would be starting hormone replacement therapy, this was one of the best days in my life and it had taken almost 3 years from starting my transition to arrive at. This is still a problem for most people progressing with transgender transition as the wait can be very long; sometime due to financial problems, long waiting lists, or family pressures which cause us to become depressed, withdrawn, and anxious which are symptoms of gender dysphoria.
My initial feelings prior to starting my transgender transition where numerous; all of them seemed negative and they certainly where detrimental to a good state of mind and they interfered with my everyday ability to function at home or work.
When I reached rock bottom I decided to come up with a game plan to make myself feel better about myself, I could not continue in such a negative space in my life and started to change things to help cope with my gender dysphoria. The actions and tips that I developed really helped me through my pre-transgender transition and continue to this day to help me feel good about myself and enforce my feeling of femininity which, at least for me, relates to my happiness and wellbeing.
I wanted to share my action plan; tips and techniques for coping with transgender transition which is a list of things you can do to ‘feel like a girl’ in your life.
Growing my clothes collection
My transition was one which started as a crossdresser for probably 10 years prior to thoughts of wanting to live as a woman so my wardrobe was already fairly extensive but consisted of a number of clothes that were either to short, to tight, or just to club orientated to wear out on a normal daily basis.
So, for me it was a case of ‘out with the old and in with the new’ to clear space in my wardrobe and build a classier feminine clothes collection, you can get many hours of enjoyment by just browsing clothes online or building a collection of items which I would save to a personal Pinterest account.
I would practice with makeup techniques to create a feminine face
I have always loved makeup and playing around with it to achieve different day or night looks, you may or may not want to wear makeup but for many of us transgender girls it can be important to help us achieve a feminine appearance. I believe that practicing makeup in the early stages of transition can be a way of coping with gender dysphoria, a little escapism never hurt anybody, it also gave me confidence for my upcoming stages of transition.
I perfected covering beard shadow prior to laser treatment
I always had problems with facial hair which was especially prominent around my chin and upper lip, the usual male skin problems of 5 o’clock shadow. I remember many occasions, first thing in the morning, when I looked in the mirror only to see dark beard shadow starring back at me, this is one of those things that used to haunt me on a daily basis. However, after deciding to spend some money on a professional makeover for a friends party, I found out about using special colored concealers, under my foundation, this simple technique completely solved the problem of hiding and covering beard shadow. They call this makeup trick ‘color correction’ and it is a common thing used by makeup artists to cover dark under eye circles, acne, eczema, wine scars, and other facial problem – I found this great article that covers the topic of how to cover beard shadow, its defo worth a read.
During my playing around with makeup I found it a great help to watch videos on YouTube, try searching yourself for daily makeup routines, I also invested in an online course called ‘Magic Makeup’ – see it here, these 2 things helped me perfect a great makeup regime and to this day gets me a lots of compliments with my look, moreover the makeup practice helped pass the time through transgender transitioning.
I make time to apply hand and face cream for soft skin
This tip has helped me a lot with connecting with my feminine feelings and you really should learn to make a little time for yourself. I now have a regular routine of caring for my body by applying hand and face cream, every day, I like to take my time and always have my skin feeling lovely and soft. If you want to be kind to your skin then I would recommend using my favorite ‘Honeyskin Organics‘ cruelty free cream for eyes, skin and body it gives me that luxurious silky smooth skin touch feeling.
I began my voice feminization through transgender transition
Let’s face it, even if you look like the most passable girl or woman in the world, the moment you open your mouth and speak is the time you get ultimately read as male or female. OK, that statement is maybe a little strong, not all of us tgirls want or even need a massive amount of voice feminization but it does help in many ways to cope in a world of fading gender stereotyping.
You will be amazed at how flexible and feminine our voices can become through just a little vocal training; with a small amount of time and effort it is easy to mould your voice through feminine vocal training which can be done through YouTube research, just search for vocal feminization exercises, or you can take a look at this useful article containing resources for voice feminization techniques and the ‘Kathe Perez’ MTF vocal training course.
The early days of transgender transition can be a frustrating time for many of us, what seems like an endless wait FOR MEDICAL confirmation.
I learned more about transgender hormone replacement therapy
Whilst you are going through the early stages of transgender transition it is good to research, for yourself, the medical aspects and implications of any hormone therapy, advice can vary widely through the medical profession. You can take a look at this ‘HRT Guide 101‘ article which gives some good advice on hormone replacement therapy and tells you what to expect from treatment.
I started growing my hair
I understand that growing hair is not possible for every transgender woman but there is always something that can be done in the area of hair and scalp treatments that can benefit all of us. If you are lucky enough to have your own hair, then growing it and also finding an accommodating local hairdresser is a great step to dumb down the feeling of body dysmorphia. You can care for your hair and scalp with some nourishing treatments to aid hair growth and also give your hair a healthy boost.
I will admit that I did have problems with growing my own hair primarily through some balding on the very top of my head, after a lot of researching, I started using Olive oil (virgin), Coconut oil, and Jojoba Oil which made an amazing difference to my hair regrowth. You can get these ingredients separately on Amazon or you can try something, that I swear by, which has all of the ingredients plus added vitamins for hair strength, this is called ‘Wild Growth Hair Oil’ – you can see it here.
The most important ‘take away’ from this tip is to take care of yourself and show some love to your body.
Looking after my body and doing regular exercise
It is important to learn to look after your body during every stage of transition as it will lead to many coping mechanisms for gender dysphoria. I developed a regular exercising routine which included a mandatory 30 minute dog walk every evening, you can do this walk without a dog!. I would make sure that I did between 8 and 12 thousand steps per day monitored by a wrist fitness watch (Fitbit) which helped with my motivation and daily goal.
I decided to eat well and embark on a healthy diet
I never used to have any sort of healthy diet, I would miss breakfast, snack during the day, and binge on a large late dinner which are basically all the things you should try and avoid. I was at a gender clinic appointment one day when I was lucky enough to chat with a doctor who was also a nutrition expert and she explained what I should be eating to give myself a fighting chance of losing some weight through eating the right things.
I really wanted to achieve a more feminine figure and get in shape so I started doing the right things and I also followed an excellent program called ‘The 3 Week Diet’, this is not an extreme diet but one which is medically proven, see it here, and combined with my regular exercise it was easy to lose 5 of my 16 stones in just 5 short months, now I am 11 stone and feel so much better plus I can get into a much smaller dress size, win win!
I began body hair removal
Many of us transgender women have a battle with unsightly hair which grows in all the wrong places, I was very lucky that where I used to live there was a laser hair removal clinic a short walk away and I had the means and ability to undergo facial laser treatment to rid me of beard hair growth. I used to really suffer from unwanted hair not only on my face but also on my arms and legs, laser hair treatment is not cheap so after asking my laser clinic about home treatments they suggested the ‘iLIGHT Hair Removal System‘ this unit has been my savior in ridding me of excessive arm and leg hair.
If you have problems with facial hair then find a local laser hair clinic, book at least 3 appointments to start with. If you can’t yet afford laser treatment, then definitely take a look at the ‘iLight’ system to help with removing unwanted arm and leg hair which will help with body dysmorphia issues.
You can find a very useful external article about covering beard shadow during transition along with a very helpful section on effective home laser hair removal devices, with information about the iLight and Tria Beauty hair removal systems.
I learned how to love and be kind to myself
I fully understand how hard it is to be kind to yourself when you are in the throes of your transgender transition, it can seem like an endless road of bumps and turns with obstacles being thrown at you around every corner. It is therefore extremely important to remember that you are not the only one going through these struggles and if you ever ask another transgender person they will most certainly have a similar story to tell of the problems they have faced and the wanting to come out the other side of physical transition as the person they feel inside. Stop with the negativity and trust that time will see the completion of the road to womanhood.
This tip, although hard, is about learning to take time out to love yourself, treat your body to nice things, look after your health through eating well and try to escape the feelings of gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia.
You can effectively learn to accept the stages of transition, understand your body changes both physical and mental, your perception of femininity can be increased through caring about your body, slow down to take everything in your stride and make your transgender transition something more enjoyable.
Don’t forget also that us transgender girls and boys need to have some fun from time to time and get out and about for social evenings, club nights, or perhaps staying home and having some indoor fun including perhaps experimenting with makeup, dressing up and even enjoying some adult fun alone or with a partner, it’s really healthy to enjoy your body through transition.
I really hope you have enjoyed reading this article, maybe you can implement one or two of the tips and techniques I have used successfully to help with my own transition and I wish you all the love in the world for your individual path to womanhood.
Further Reading: Please take a look at our article about the ‘Stepping Out Secrets‘ program, this course contains in-depth tutorials and video coaching on important transgender transition topics such as style, makeup and voice feminization.